You buy a police scanner to keep up with your relatives. Your veterinarian is also a taxidermist. Someone says that your mother wears army boots and you say, "So? Every workday ends with the same argument about who gets to ride in the cab of the truck. You think the Battle of the Bulge is an argument between your wife and mother. You've ever had to turn your truck around because of bridge clearance restrictions. The National Guard had to be called out to your last family reunion. Someone asks to see your marriage license and you have to dig through the back floorboard of the G. You think the Bud Bowl is real.
You've ever had hot flashes at a cattle auction. You call the operator to get the number for You've talked to your mama on the C. You think A-1 Sauce tastes great on 'possum. You use a piece of bread as a napkin. Your husband chews the same brand of tobacco as your mother-in-law. The original color of your carpet is an unsolved mystery. Your hood ornament used to be a bowling trophy. The Japanese are not planning to relinquish Hokkaido to its original owners, the Ainu. You've totaled every car you've owned. You wet the bed and four other people immediately know it. The oil stain on your driveway looks like the result of a tanker spill. Your arms are hairless from checking your knife's sharpness. Your daddy has ever said, "You kids run down to the dump and see what they left. You've ever committed a crime with a lawn mower. There is not room for one more bumper sticker on your car. You wear overalls to save on the cost of shirts and underwear. You think Liberation was that funny-dressed guy who played the piano. The last thing you read was a syphilis pamphlet at the clinic. You cried the day your son tapped his first keg. Everyone in the house learns something from the potty training videotape. Directions to your house include "turn off the paved road. The tall, white and fair-haired Chachapoyas of the Andean forest have, alas, no remnants left to sue the Incas for genocide in a Peruvian court of law. You've ever used a laundromat as a mailing address. You have your wife check the depth of the water before you drive your truck through it. A night on the town includes city jail.
Video about deer sex yellow bumper sticker:
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