We've had numerous arguments about this, and his "solution" is for me to "stop thinking about it. The man I'm going to marry has a huge boot fetish. We're in a cuckold relationship—she sleeps with other men and women, while I am completely monogamous to her—and "my" best man is one of her regular male sex partners and her maid of honor is one her girlfriends with benefits. He refuses to discuss this issue, even as I lose sleep over it. Now for the caveat: They were together for three years and briefly engaged, and they broke up two years before we met. On the Lovecast, a sex toy expert's husband's favorite sex toy:
The secret perving you're doing—the girlfriend has to beg for your permission to fuck other people and report back to you afterward—is small and it's a bank shot. I'm picturing a big group of guys doing for him what I do for him: They were together for three years and briefly engaged, and they broke up two years before we met. There are things we have a right to ask the people with whom we have casual sex—like whether they're practicing ethical nonmonogamy, if they have an STI, what kind of birth control they're using, whether they're on PrEP, etc. Zooming out for a second: So long as he's good at his job and his secret perving is undetectable—no bulges, no heavy breathing, no creepy comments—no harm done. His size also happens to be my size—and I'm half convinced he wouldn't have proposed if we didn't have the same size feet and I couldn't wear his boots. But he needs to be involved in determining where, when, how, and with whom he'd like to make this fantasy a reality. Your boyfriend isn't out to his friends about his kink. My bi girlfriend and I are getting married in a month. Thanks for sharing, and be sure to send me a photo of the wedding party for my records. It's important to note, however, that the foot fetishist salesclerk's perceptions aren't the ones that matter. We've had numerous arguments about this, and his "solution" is for me to "stop thinking about it. I want to surprise him with a very special bachelor party that we'll both attend: He has about pairs of boots in his size. I think it would be way better than going to a strip club or a drag show. If he thinks he's playing it cool—he thinks his perving is secret—but his customers or coworkers are creeped out by his behavior, demeanor, heavy breathing, etc. The man I'm going to marry has a huge boot fetish. His feet aren't an uncommon size My go-to example of PSP is the foot fetishist who works in a shoe store. And what turns you on about your girlfriend sleeping with other people—and how you and your girlfriend talk to each other about it—is no one's business but yours. Before she sleeps with them even once? Some people in open relationships don't want to know what their partners get up to, and these couples usually have "don't ask, don't tell" agreements about sex outside the relationship. But many more people in open relationships do want to hear about their partners' adventures because it turns them on. If that's true, why not delete them?
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